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Turn Yelling Into A Learning Experience For You & Your Child

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Few parents want to yell at their children, yet nearly all do. We don’t condone yelling at children, but, if you slip, turn it into a teachable moment. When you cool off, sit down with your child and invite him to share his thoughts and feelings about the experience. Listen to him – don’t turn it into a dispute. When he’s done, apologize and explain to him that your yelling was a response to his behavior, not to him. If there were militating factors, such as lack of sleep or stress at work, let your child know. Emphasize that yelling doesn’t mean the yeller no longer values him. Instead, remind him, yelling is often a temporary state, and, even though the yeller might not admit it, she most likely regrets yelling and hopes she will be forgiven.

This will provide your child tools to respond to conflict maturely. By recognizing that an expression of anger is not necessarily about him and not a permanent state, he’ll understand that it does not signify the end of a relationship or job. It’ll enable him to respond more productively to tumult: he’ll be less likely to give up on the relationship or job, and more likely to use the experience as an opportunity to strengthen his bonds.



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